Trying my patience
by Blood Never Lies
Summary: A piece about Seras having to deal with Pip inside of her whilst doing her job and some of the everyday issues that remain with being a vampire. Extended from a ONESHOT. Some swearing, some French, some sexual references. Rated M for later sexual content
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Hellsing**  
-

Seras opened her eyes, she listened for anything that might be out of the ordinary. After a few moments she shrugged and rose from the specialised bed that Hellsing had installed for her. After the initial shouting and tantrums that had followed her being forced to sleep in a coffin she had begged Sir Hellsing to find something that married the vampiric tradion with something more modern, the result was the four poster coffin/bed. A four poster bed that literally descended into the floor creating a makeshift metal coffin when the occupant hit the switch, or if that person was asleep, an auto timer for sunrise would make it descend to protect its sleeping occupant.

It was a considerable improvement on comfort, but the true reason she'd needed it was that she hadn't mentioned to anymore she was claustrophobic, the coffin had literally terrified her and rest had been impossible. This way all she had to do was relax and go to sleep.  
She idly wondered if like her Master Alucard, she might be able to walk in the direct sunlight.  
It was such a hopeful thought that for a moment she was furious at him for not being around to ask, Alucard was gone. She didn't doubt that one day he would return. If 'Dracula' films had taught her anything about the king of vampires it was that he always found a way to come back.  
She shrugged and stretched, as she clicked a stiff back a smell invaded her nostrils making her wince - after a few moments she realised it was her clothes which stank of smoke and old blood from last nights ghoul hunting in the English countryside.

Seras shook her head in irritation. She'd have to get changed. She stripped off the clinging garmnet and went to look in the full length mirror to check her hair, contrary to the popular belief that vampires had no reflection she'd had one even after she'd been turned. The shock of seeing fangs had made her scream the first time she'd looked at herself in a handmirror. _  
_"Ooh lah lah, very nice!" a french accented voice purred into her ear._  
_Seras experienced a sense of deja vu as she screamed at her reflection. It wasn't that there was anything to be repulsed about her appearance, but the ginger haired frenchman who leered appreciatively at her from the mirror was new.  
"Pip!" she shrieked "God damn it, don't you knock!" she span around attempting to cover herself as the Frenchman laughed at her from the mirror.  
"Where the hell did my reflection go?" She demanded.  
The mercanary shrugged and lit a cigarette, "Search me." he replied "But I'm not complaining." he grinned at her.  
Seras fumed and her face went red "I need to get dressed! You keep your eyes shut Pip!"  
"Awww..." he pouted at her "Can't I watch? I promise I won't talk!"  
"No!"  
"Not even a quick glance?"  
"NO!"  
Seras shot a glare at him and he sighed. "Oh all right... I'll close my eyes."  
She sighed in relief "Thank you." she grated out. None the less she undressed away from the mirror, the last thing she wanted was for Pip to constantly remind her she'd given him a show, she leant over and picked up a clean uniform.  
Then she realised she'd made a terrible mistake, Pip was a mercenary - they weren't known for keeping promises.  
To prove the point for her Pip pinched her bum playfully from behind making her yelp.  
"You said I had to close my eyes. You said nothing about touching." he warned her with a playful grin, his eye closed as he'd promised "You need to be more specific."  
She turned around angrily, her face red with embarrasment.  
"PIP!" she shrieked at him.  
The Frenchman opened his eye took a long lingering gaze at her naked form and his facelit up "Ah! I knew this solitary existance had to bring with it some perks of the job!"  
Seras clobbered him and Pip landed hard on his rear.  
"Oww! Jesus! You know, I thought the dead were supposed to be beyond pain...!" he complained.  
Seras fumed "You're going to be in a lot more when I'm through with you!" she warned.  
The Frenchman's eyes went wide and he scampered quickly back to the safety of the mirror. He turned and blew her a kiss.  
"au revoir mon chéri! We must do this again sometime!"  
Seras stood shaking with suppressed rage and she muttered "In your dreams."  
She was able to finally get changed and then she headed upstairs to deal with the matter of food.

Seras sat alone at a long table, a tall candle lit and a soup spoon and bowl ready next to a bucket of ice and a blood pack.  
She understood that food, real food - good wholesome nutritous food was no longer an option for her to enjoy. But she still didn't like blood, the thought of drinking it was still revolting even though she accepted she had to do it for her strength's sake.  
With her body craving it with an unholy passion, the sight of it was enough to make her go into a daze and drool despite how she felt on the matter. But fortunately for her she had an understanding Master in Sir Integra, whose family haddealt with such issues before. The Hellsing leader had allowed Seras to use whatever she needed so that she could drink without finding it more awkward than she already did.

So Seras sat here, with her chilled medical bag of blood as her Master Alucard had done before her, she sighed and ripped the top off the bag and poured it into a fine soup bowl.  
Finally she settled more comfortably into the chair, composed herself and closed her eyes and after a deep breath she began spooning it as quickly into her mouth as she could, desperately telling herself _This is just cold tomato soup, lovely rich tomato soup. It is going to be delicious and creamy and rich..._  
Despite her best efforts it quickly began to make her gag as she realised what she was doing. However she finally swallowed the last spoonful with an effort and sighed. "There's got to be an easier way..." she complained "Can't they give it any flavour? A touch of salt? A bit of pepper?"  
Pip's voice went through her mind, "Oh yes, and perhaps a sprig of rosemary for decoration?"

Pip appeared at her side and shook his head sadly "Wow, that's a rough deal. No fine gourmet for you, eh Seras? Just that, everyday for as long as you live."  
Seras wasn't sure if he was being facetious because she'd hit him, or if he was deadpanning.  
"Don't remind me" she said bitterly with a depressed sigh.  
Pip took a chair next to her, he gave her a curious sideways glance, "Hey you had not problems feeding with my blood Seras. What's the big deal with this stuff? It's even been donated!"  
"The first time was different" she said with a sickened look on her face.  
"How? Was it because it was mine?" he asked hopefully.  
"Not quite Pip," she said with a small smile, the frenchman was genuinly trying to snap her out of it and she apprecaited he wasn't judging her for what she had to do to keep her strength up.

"Aww" the mercenary joked, he walked behind her and rubbed her back "Come on now, no being sick. You need to accept that you need that stuff." his nose crinkled in distaste "Even though it's never going to look nice no matter how much fine china you put it in."  
"PIP!" she whined as she was reminded of the taste, she covered her mouth "...I think I'm going to be sick..." she moaned.  
"Non! Do not be!" He warned "If you can hold your stomach long enough then I shall hail you as the greatest woman who ever lived!"  
Seras shot him an unamused look "I'm a dead vampire remember?"  
His gaze went uncertain for a moment, then he chuckled, "Trifles! But let that not bother us for now! I mean look at this scene from another perspective; we have" he looked appreciately at the laid out table "Dinner, candle light..." he leaned in and fixed on her with his best intimate gaze "and our burning desire for one another..." he implied with a purr, as he stroked a hand up her thigh.  
As he leaned in Seras hand flicked out to snuff out the single candle light. There was a loud smack.  
A solitary lighter clicked and a flame shot into existance, Pip lit a cigarette and rubbed a stinging red cheek, in the back round the door slammed as Seras left the room.  
"Ah! But then again, perhaps we do not." he ammened as he sucked in a lungful of smoke.

-  
**I know a few people are going to say it's an odd ending. But I thought it was funny.  
R+R if you care to, thanks for reading.  
-Sigmund 17**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Hellsing.**  
**I do enjoy watching it and reading it.**  
**This was originally intended as a one shot, but to keep a promise and because it has potential I'm going to extend it further.**

Seras stormed away down the corridor shaking her head. Her stomach roiled and she rubbed at her thigh feeling somewhat dirty for Pip's actions back in the room.  
It wasn't that Pip wasn't attractive, but it his attitude turned him from what might be seen in a romantic light as a bit of a loveable rogue into the reality of being a perverted, womanising mercenary.  
"Hey, that was uncalled for!" the Frenchman warned from behind her.  
She turned and saw him leaning against the wall, cigarette in his mouth and a smirk on his face.  
"You'll hurt my feelings." he teased her with a chiding finger.  
She growled and snapped "Can't you tell when a woman's upset?"  
Pip nodded an affirmative and tilted his head in thought, then his face brightened up. "Hey, you know, I can think of several ways to cheer you up sweet heart!" he laughed.

Seras strode forward and smacked the cigarette out of his hand.  
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she shouted angrily into his face, now completely fed up of his jokes and behavior.  
Pip raised his hands in a pleading gesture and stepped back into the shadows where he faded.  
The dissapearing trick was so similar to her Master's she was painfully reminded of Alucards absence.  
She wished for a second he was around to explain why her familiar could walk around freely and touch her witohut consent when all of his familiars had been bottled up within him.

As she returned to her cell and pushed open the door she was faced once again with Pip Bernadette, however this time he seemed less jovial.  
"You need to control that temper Seras." he warned her "Otherwise it's going to make you into a monster like Alucard."  
Seras clenched her fists and let out a cry of exasperation  
"WHAT PART OF GET LOST DON'T YOU GET PIP?"  
The mercenary rolled his eyes "The part where I can't do that - you forget I'm inside of you?" he tapped a finger to her head "I can't very well go away if this is home now, can I?"  
Seras sighed and went over to her bed before collapsing into it, the very mimic of a fed up teenager.  
"God this is going to be hard work..." she mumbled through the pillow.

she felt a gloved hand pat her head reassuringly.  
"There, there." Pip said sympathetically "I'll stop teasing. I promise."  
She looked up slowly, her deep blue eyes measuring his words.  
"Promise?" she said finally.  
The Frenchman chuckled and pulled out a fresh cigarette "Of course my darling!" he replied lighting it up and taking a draw.  
She crinkled her nose "Don't smoke around me." she told him.  
He rasied an eyebrow "What's it going to do? Kill you?" he joked.  
"Pip." she warned him it would be worse if he pushed any further.  
"Oh all right!" he said and made a scene of leaving the room.  
She sighed and leaned back, pressing the button to close the coffin lid and tried to get comfortable as everything went dark.

Later the alarm went off inside her room. It wasn't very loud, but the alarm triggered the bed to rise from it's position. Seras mumbled a small complaint about just getting to sleep.  
_"Wakey wakey, rise and shine!"_ a voice called to her in her mind.  
"No... a few more minutes..." she mumbled, rolling over.  
A hand shook her shoulder and she opened her eyes blearily.  
"Wake up mignonette!" the Frenchman shook her "le patron vous veut en haut!"  
Seras groaned "Stop saying it all in French Pip, I don't understand you!"  
he grinned broadly "But it wakes you up, yes? I said the boss wants you upstairs. Come on now, up you get."

The 'boss' gave Seras a look as she came into the study. Integra's cool eyes were disapproving.  
"Ten minutes Seras." she warned "That's not good enough."  
The girl winced "I'm sorry sir."  
Integra dismissed the apology. She'd said her bit already, she pushed a dossier forward from a pile in front of her.  
"There has been an outbreak in the Central Hospital in London. Tonights assignment is simple, search out and destroy all freaks. You've got the blueprints of the hospital in front of you."  
Seras stiffened to attention. "Yes sir, my master."  
Integra smiled at her honourific title, she looked up after a few seconds and saw Seras leafing through the file.  
"Seras? What are you waiting for?" she pressed gently.  
Seras blushed "Right!" she concentrated and dissapeared, a shadow amongst the night that closed in quickly.

At the hopsital things were quickly being dealt with, all civiallians were being held back by MI5 operatives and police. Journalists were being forcibly removed by men in suits. Hellsing was very clear on this matter; vampires, as far as the world needed to know, were the stuff of fantasy.  
Seras looked down from the roof and whistled slowly, it was quite a crowd.  
This needed to be dealt with fast.  
"Pip, I need your help with this one." she seemed to be talking to herself.  
A second later the Frenchman appeared behind her, a confident smirk on his face "Then lets get to work Seras."  
It was a systematic approach, Pip worked his way down the stairs and assisted the few SAS operatives that had been loaned to Hellsing by Sir John Islands in their task of 'ghoul hunting'.  
They swept through all the rooms and quickly cleared the ground floor.  
Pip then split them up into two divisions. One group to guard the exits, the other to begin taking the fight the the upper floors.

Meanwhile Seras started at the top, she went through the top floor rooms and cleared them all. She sensed another vampire within the building, the cause of the outbreak. As she proceeded down the next floor she went through two more batches of ghouls, most had been nurses and a few patients. She stopped and listened.  
"Come out now. You don't have anymore bodies to throw at me." she called.  
A few seconds later a surgeon charged out, throwing a scalpel ahead of him as he ran.  
Seras ducked it and as the surgeon leapt she rolled forward beneath him.  
As the surgeon realised his error he tried to turn and recover but it was too late. Seras flattened hand punched through his chest like a blade. A second later in a spray of blood and air the vampire was gone, only a stain to prove he had ever existed.

As she strolled down the stairs she heard the sound of shouting and automatic gunfire. Alarmed she broke into a run, kicking down a door to burst in and assist the men.  
She paused as Pip kicked the final ghoul to the floor.  
"Die vous le morceau de merde!" he snarled and opened fired with a borrowed semi automic rifle. THe bullets chopped the head messily from the body and the ghoul disintegrated.  
The Frenchman wiped blood from his cheek and smiled at Seras "What took you so long?"

**This one was not as comic as the last chapter I admit, but this was meant to add a little more depth to a Hellsing story without Alucard.  
I'm hoping to throw more comic elements back in as we progress.  
I'm enjoying writing this so I hope you're enjoying reading it!  
Please R+R as I appreciate feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Hellsing.**

Seras watched as the SAS members filed out into their various mode of transport. Twelve men, one vampire.  
"Thirteen men." Pip prompted her as he walked up to join her.  
Seras would have been irritated at him for reading her mind had the mission not gone so well. It amazed her that a dozen soldiers given minimal time to prepare could have successfully defeated a small outbreak of ghouls and hardly broke a sweat in the process...  
Pip raised his eyebrow "Potential candidates?" he asked innocently.  
Seras pursed her lips and nodded "Could be. I'll get their names and regiment then advise-"  
"Don't bother. I got them already."  
Seras looked at him "Really? Or are you just trying hard to impress me?"

Pip sidled in closer to her and purred "Can't it be both?"  
She glared at him for a moment then her lip twitched and she began to laugh.  
Pip grinned "Aha! I have broken the shell! victoire!"  
Seras shook her head and tried to settle herself down, god but Pip never seemed to stop his advances! But god help her, it was rather sweet in it's way.  
"Oh? Sweet am I?" Pip whispered into her ear.  
Seras stopped laughing instantly and she looked hard at him  
"How the hell do you do that? It's creepy!" she demanded.  
Pip shrugged "It's probably the same way you hear me when I talk from within you. Maybe I'm on the internal comms as well as the external?"  
Her eyes went hard and Pip gave her a pleading look "Please migonette, I really don't know."  
Seras felt ashamed for snapping at him and muttered an apology.

Pip waved it away and pointed instead at the troops, directing her gaze to three men who all looked more senior than the others.  
"Harvard, Biggs and Reggie are all the 31st, out of retirement and the others are all candidates handpicked by some geezer called Islands. From the left those few are the 42nd; Mitchell, Davidson, Wells..."  
As he went through the list Seras marvelled at her familiars way with people, barely an hour with these men and he'd gathered all their names and regiments.  
She'd never have been able to do that.  
He smiled at her "Its something you get used to. You'll pick it up with practise."  
One of the men waved them over, he indicated to a kettle and asked them politely if they 'fancied a quick cuppa'.  
Pip chuckled and shook his head "Merci Wells, but no. It disagree's with me."  
The man, was it Wells?, grunted and looked at Seras. She squirmed, a cup of tea would have been lovely but...  
she sighed "None for me thanks. I just need some sleep."  
Wells leaned in and looked curiously at her "You look a bit pale missy, you alright?"  
Seras smiled at him "Yeah, I just don't get out that much these days."  
He grunted again and turned back to making the tea, she had to resist rolling her eyes - grunting seemed to be a complete vocabulary for men.

Back at the place she supposed they both called home she reported a complete success to Sir Integra.  
Their boss gave them both a small smile "I'd have expected no less Seras. Captain Bernadette." she casually greeted Pip as though he'd just walked into the room.  
Seras wondered if Integra had developed the high respect for Pip for sacrificing everything he had to hold the line against Millenium, or because he'd been the one to turn Seras into a completly whole Nosfiratu...  
She put it out of her mind and gave a quick bow to her Master.  
As she turned to leave Integra called after her. "Wait."  
She turned, Integra beckoned her to come over. As Seras approached the desk Integra's gaze went sly and she asked softly "Indulge my curiousity Seras. How do you feel now you're a vampire?"  
Seras didn't know how to answer and stammered as she tried.  
Integra laughed at the girls awkwardness "Stop, don't worry about it Seras. From what was reported I was wondering if I was about to have another Alucard on my hands, but no. I think we won't have that for a least a while yet."  
She looked over Seras shoulder to the waiting Pip and after a second she opened her drawer and tossed a cigar into his hands.  
"I trust you still enjoy a smoke Captain?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. The smell of cigarettes still seemed to hang onto the clothes of the dead man.  
Pip gave her a toothy smile "I've never made it a habit to change for people, not even for Seras."  
Integra nodded. "Good policy. Keep an eye on her."  
Seras looked at Integra then at Pip, she had the feeling she was missing out on something in their dialogue...  
Integra made a dismissive wave with a hand "Well done Seras. You and the Captain may go."

As she walked back the the room Pip lit the cigar and puffed on it merrily.  
"I've never seen her give anyone a cigar before." Seras commented not a little bit jealous of Pip's reward.  
"You'd have got one if you smoked I'm sure."  
Seras shook her head and grumbled "But even so.."  
Pip stopped and regarded her "Oh, I see. Well if you want to be rewarded for your efforts..."  
he leaned forward and puckered up.  
She pushed him away "Not that kind of reward!" she complained.  
The Frenchman pouted "Shame. Oh well, here." He offered her the still smoking cigar.  
Seras made a face "Gee thanks," she muttered sarcastically and tried to smoke.  
A second later she spat it out, hacking and retching emptily at the smoke. Coughing she tried to get rid of the choking sensation.  
Pip laughed at her and patted her back until she stood up again.  
"How the hell do you smoke those things?" Seras asked him incredulously as she wiped her eyes "God they're nasty!"  
Pip leaned down and retrieved the cigar and toyed with his plait.  
"Really? Gosh who'd have though smoking could be bad for you! Well migonette, maybe your boss was trying to punish me." he teased as he popped the cigar back into his mouth.  
For his sarcasm Seras thumped his arm.

Later Seras lay back on her bed and her mind wandered. Pip had finished the cigar some time ago and had dissapeared in his usual manner. He'd kept quiet in the back of her mind as well, Seras wondered if it was possible that her familiar was asleep?  
Of course, she reflected, she also needed sleep and she was as dead as he was...  
She closed her eyes and relaxed into the matress.  
She was unprepared her for the dreams that felt alien and familiar at the same time; places, ladies, men, friends...  
Her eyes shot open as a voice within her cried out in shock.  
"What the Hell-?"

Pip's voice sounded shaken and it echoed in the back of her mind  
"I wish you'd ask before you looked into my past migionette!"  
Seras felt a bit awkward herself,  
"I didn't mean to! I was asleep..." she apologised, feeling ashamed but a bit defensive at his tone, after all, she hadn't done it on purpose...  
Pip seemed to appreciate that the slight was unintentional and she felt his acceptance.  
"Alright migionette. Fair enough. If we're going to be together for a while then I suppose I could let you see a few of my memories."  
Seras suddenly felt a cheeky smile creep on her face.  
"I think I know what I want to see first..." she replied trying to sound as innocent as she could.  
Pip asked her what that might be.  
"Well, I was wondering what your first date was like..."  
Pip suddenly went still within her "...Oh, no. You really don't want to see that. You wouldn't find it interesting..." he replied in an oddly flat tone.  
Seras was already trying to find it.  
"No!" Pip barked "Seras, I said no! You can't look if I-!"  
Seras had already found it however, and she was already seeing it.

-  
**  
No, you don't get to see that just yet. You'll have to wait!  
Ah, I love cliffhangers, lol.  
Please R+R.**


	4. Chapter 4

****

**I do not own Hellsing.**

* * *

Seras was in the darkness, she looked around curiously. There was no Pip here, and no one else but her. But she was sure she'd found the memory before she got here... she reached out with her mind. "Pip's first date" she said softly. When she turned around, she was quite suddenly there...

* * *

It was a dark and cold night, the streets were close and it was all neat and reasonably clean. Light's were lit and singing was heard from most places. Some kind of celebration was going on here.  
From Pip's memories she knew that this was Paris at New Year's Eve. She saw two figures coming out of the darkness down the street. One was a girl dressed in tight, provocative top that barely covered her high firm breasts. She had brown hair done in a neat curls that fell down her shoulders. She lips were red and her eyes were dark and promising.  
Beside her was a tall youth, his hair the colour of rust with a messy fringe. Freckles were dotted over his cheeks and nose, his green eyes shot sly looks down the top of the girl next to him, when she wasn't looking. He wore a red scarf against the cold, a style that he seemed to have kept into his adulthood.  
So this was a younger Pip, eh? Seras wondered to herself, he had a thinner build than when she'd first met him, but then again he only looked about fifteen in this memory.

"Hold on" the boy said softly to the girl "I need to stop down here quickly." he went a little way down an alley, the girl followed him. Seras didn't, he probably needed a piss...  
However despite that she hadn't gone after the pair, a second later she was literally there standing beside them. She was surprised but she guessed it made sense; this was a memory. She could only go where Pip went.  
The boy pulled a cigarette out of his trouser pocket and a single match which he struck on his boots to get it going. He sucked on the end of the cigarette and smiled happily.  
The girl was shocked "Pip! You really smoke?"  
The boy laughed "Of course! I've smoked for about a year now." he said and rubbed his hands to keep them warm.  
The girl looked curiously at the burning end "My papa says they're bad for you. That they make you sick."  
Seras didn't like the girl, she seemed too good to be true. Unfortunately for her she could guess what that meant; this girl was trouble.

Pip scoffed at the notion "Nah! My grandfather's been smoking for years and he's fine! He's an old man for God's sake!" the young Pip took another pull and blew it out easily.  
The girl looked amazed and licked her lower lip, her eye's thoughtful as she watched Pip lean back against the wall.  
_They're bad for you huh? Doesn't stop you wanting to try one though does it_? Seras thought a little acidly, looking at the brunette who slid closer against Pip and put a hand on his chest. _And you act like a right tart!_ Seras thought grumpily.  
"Can... can I try one?" the girl cooed softly into Pip's ear.  
Pip looked at her curiously and thought about it. He frowned at the burning end for a moment then his eyes brightened.  
"I'll let you have a quick try for a kiss!" he offered with a huge grin.  
The girl looked shocked, wether it was at the forwardness of Pip or the odd leery smile Seras couldn't tell.  
"Oh! Oh, I don't know..." the girl muttered.  
Pip leaned over and raised his eyebrows "One _little_ kiss?" he amended "Come on Abbie! You know you want to kiss me!" he put the cigarette back into his mouth and drew off it, making the end burn merrily.

The 'Abbie' girl looked around quickly and squirmed with indecision, Seras was still of a mind to call her 'tart', who else dressed that way when it was freezing cold? She could practically feel the damp in the air, even though it wasn't real.  
Abbie made a little noise of irritation and finally she leaned up and pecked him quickly on the lips.  
Pip laughed "There now, was that so hard?" he held the smoke over to the girl for her to try.  
Abbie seemed to be enjoying the rebellion of smoking against her father's wishes. _Yeah and aren't you a bloody clever girl for doing that, you twit!_ Seras thought to herself. She was jealous. Obviously Pip was no virgin when he met her, but it would have been nice to think that she might have been something of a rare find and that there had really been no other special girls in his life...

"Hey, hey, hey!" Young Pip warned Abbie "I said a little sample for a kiss! I don't have many of those left!"  
The girl humphed as Pip snatched the burning tobacco away from her.  
_"Spoilt brat_." Seras muttered under her breath. She gasped and covered her mouth but breathed more easily when it was obvious that niether Pip nor the girl could see or hear her.  
The girl looked up and pouted a little "Can't I have one?" she asked him "Please?"  
"Hell no!" Pip said "I said I haven't got many left, my grandfather only lets me have a few."  
Abbie looked sly "What do you want for one of them then?"  
Young Pip looked baffled and stammered for a moment.  
_How sweet_, Seras thought,_ Pip's quite cute when he's nervous. Course, I'd better not tell him that..._  
Abbie leaned over and pressed herself against the young Pip, she slid the hand on his chest down to his leg and looked up into his eyes with a saucy smile.  
_"Oh, so now you're showing your true colours! You are such a slag miss lah-de-dah!"_ Seras shouted at the girl, who of course ignored her as she couldn't hear her.  
Pip blushed and mumbled "Erm... let me... you know." he was clearly distracted by the feeling of having a girl so close to him.  
The girl frowned "What?"  
Young Pip's cheeks nearly went the colour of his scarf as he muttered "Let me have a proper kiss and we'll see."  
Abbie snorted "No. One kiss, one fag."

_"What?"_ Seras gaped _"Oh what, you think you're bloody miss world or something?"_  
It was Pip who squirmed now, torn between both temptations. Or so Seras thought.  
"Yeah, but you know, what'll your father say?" The boy asked nervously.  
Abbie waved it away "I'll tell him my friends smoke. He'll believe me."  
Pip shook his head softly, clearly dissaproving "You know, lying to your dad's not good Abbie..."  
Seras stared at Pip incredulously, did she just hear him right? Was he actually doing the _decent_ thing here?  
"And smoking's bad for you anyway. You said it yourself." Pip continued "So I'm going to say no to you."  
Seras looked amazed "_Pip Bernadette, you bloody hero!"_ she cheered "_I take it all back, you're not a perverted womanising idiot. It's official, Pip Bernadette you are a good man!" _  
Abbi looked as touch she were making deals with Satan himself as she mumbled "What if I let you feel me up?"  
Pip paused "Oh, well that's a bit different..." he changed tack as his eyes fell on her tits again.  
Seras groaned and buried her head in her hands _"I take it back, you are an idiot!" _she muttered.  
She watched the young Pip blushing as he placed his hands on her breasts then Seras rolled her eyes and turned away.  
Finally she heard Pip handing over a cigarette.

"Finally." Abbie sighed "God you're hard work."  
The boy looked down sadly "Oh... I see."  
Abbie looked annoyed "See what?"  
Pip mumbled "That's why you came out here with me. I sort of, well... I thought you liked me."  
The girl didn't say anything and stepped away from him, regarding not him but the cigarette. Seras felt quite sorry for Pip, seriously that must really suck to find out that a girl you clearly liked was only doing things with you to get something you had.

Abbie sighed "Look Pip, you're actually not a bad guy. But you're whole families been mercenaries. Everyone knows that."  
Pip nodded unhappily, that was very true.  
"You'll probably be one too." Abbie continued "It's your family legacy."  
Pip looked very upset indeed, he raised his head and muttered angrily "So? So you're judging me for something my whole family has done? Where the hell do you get off doing that, I'm fifteen for fucks sake, I don't have to be anything I don't want to be!"  
Abbie laughed "Oh sure, right."  
Pip's face coloured in anger now and his eyes narrowed "I don't think I like you very much at all Abbie." he said.  
Abbie shrugged "Oh well. I got what I wanted."

"You got what you wanted?" Pip snapped angrily at the girl "Oh, I'll let myself get touched up for a fucking smoke! Do you know what that makes you Abbie, that makes you a fucking whore!"  
The girl face coloured now "Don't you call me a whore you piece of trash! I'll have you know my Dad's a banker!"  
"Oh good!" Pip said sarcastically "So you'll have someone else to sponge off! Go on, get lost. Get out of my sight!"  
"At least I have a father!" the girl spat back at him and stormed off.  
Seras gasped in horror.  
Pip actually had tears in his eyes. Seras had never seen him upset before, not even when he'd been dying in her arms had he shown even a little sorrow. Seras wondered if this girl might have been the start of Pip's view on women. For a brief moment, Seras utterly despised the girl.  
The colour drained from Pip's face, and he went very still. He said nothing as the girl disappeared intot he night. Finally when he was certain he was alone, the boy curled up and wept in the alley.

* * *

"Oh my god!" Seras gasped as she snapped out of it. "Pip did you-" she looked around, Pip was not in the room, nor was he inside her head either.  
She bit her lip _Please let this not be as bad as I think it is..._ she hoped. Pip might annoy hwe, but she knew how hard some bad memories could be to people. She'd spent years repressing and dealing with her parents murder. This clearly was on the same level for Pip, judging by his reluctance to let her know about it. She gently opened the door to her room and poked her head out into the corridor beyond.  
It was faint but it was there, the smell of cigarette smoke was still lingering.  
She followed her nose until she finally came across a room that had served as a mess hall for the Wild Geese during their brief stay at Hellsing.  
She looked inside with her third eye, sat alone at a table in the far corner of the room Pip was hunched over a table.  
His heavy breathing and choked gasps confirmed what she feared, he'd also just experienced that memory again and it had clearly upset him. He'd been crying and hard about it.

She bit her lip and gently opened the door to the mess hall. Pip didn't stir but he held his breath in an attempt to mask his emotions.  
Seras mentally growled at this; why the hell were men so difficult? Why the hell did they never want to be found out upset by anything?  
She hopped over the side of the service counter and fumbled for something to drink. She finally placed hands on a bottle of something that smelled very strongly of alcohol.  
She went over to Pip and placed the bottle and a glass next to him.  
The Captain coughed and gave her a weak smile "Hey, mignonette! Sorry, I needed a smoke and you said before-"  
She looked sadly at him and he faltered.  
Finally the Captain relented and took a long swig from the bottle.  
"I fucking told you I didn't want you to see it." he growled.  
Seras nodded and sat down "Can we talk?"  
Pip regarded her steadily and finally shrugged "If I can smoke and drink then yes."  
She smiled "Deal."

* * *

**Another chapter up. Please R+R.**


	5. Chapter 5

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**I do not own Hellsing.**

* * *

Seras watched her familiar for a time. They sat in silence, Pip looked at the bottle and swigged occasionally. Seras fidgeted uncomfortably, she'd come with the intention of comforting him or at least apologising to him, but now she was sat here words failed her.  
Finally the Frenchman let out a snort and a chuckle. "'Ey, I thought you wanted to talk, mignonette?"  
Seras smiled and faltered "I- I don't know what to say Pip..."  
Pip chuckled and shook his head in disbelief at her. The brief upset had passed and now his normal nature was reasserting itself, oddly it was comforting for Seras.  
The Frenchman looked knowingly at her for a moment and he raised an eyebrow. "Take your time mignonette. If you've nothing to say then say nothing." he advised before he removed his hat, running a gloved hand through his hair before replacing it.

Seras smiled at him, wondering where the kernel of wisdom had suddenly come from. Pip might be a jerk and he might aggravate her beyond belief sometimes but when he wanted to the mercenary could be very understanding. She waited and collected her thoughts, finally she took a deep breath and simply got it out of her system.  
"Look Pip, I really am sorry about watching your memory. I didn't know it would be painful, I just thought it would be a bit of fun."

Pips eye narrowed at that "You're saying it's fun to pry into my history?" he growled.  
"No! No, not at all!" she ran her hands over her eyes and muttered "Pip, can't you see I'm trying to apologise?"  
_God, it's all coming out wrong..._ she put both hands on the table, palms down flat and looked into his unblinking eye.  
"Look Pip, I am still learning about myself and coming to grips with all that I am. I don't expect you to understand that, but I do ask that you be patient and bear with me."  
"I can be patient." Pip assured her with a nod.  
"Good." Seras said firmly "Now look, I promise I won't look into your past without your consent anymore, you hear me?"  
The Frenchman nodded and held her gaze for a few heartbeats before he once again looked at the bottle.  
She felt deflated now, and weary as though she'd been in a fist fight with him.  
"Are you angry with me for seeing that?" she asked him.  
Pip's lip curled in a smirk, though she didn't know why he found the question amusing. He made thoughtful noises about it as he drummed the fingers of his free hand on the table.  
Seras looked eagerly at him, quite keen to see his reaction and hear his next words.

The Captain opened his mouth to reply. But when he saw her eyes widen in anticipation, he grinned and paused, raising a finger for her to wait one second and then deliberately took another long pull from the bottle. The pale liquid glugged as he took a greedy swig. Alcohol invaded her nostrils again and she winced, wondering how he could stand to _taste_ it, let alone down it.  
Seras clenched her teeth together and tried not to let her annoyance show on her face, even forcing a patient smile.  
Pip continued to drink steadily, making _bide with me here_ gestures with his free hand. Were it not for the smirk that was creasing laughter lines around his eyes she might have found a little patience for his antics.  
"Take your time, Pip." she advised sweetly, cursing the bastard for dragging out the moments "There's no rush."

From the look in the Captains eye he was enjoying this moment of undivided attention to the fullest, Seras sighed inwardly and wondered if he'd be so amused if she tugged that bottle from his lips and spilled the contents into his lap.  
She didn't have to worry about that anymore however, as mercifully the bottle was suddenly empty.  
Pip looked disappointed but he thumped his stomach and covered a gassy belch with the back of his hand.  
_Bloody charming _Seras though sarcastically.

Pip wiped the remaining wetness from his mouth and smiled at her "Well, mignonette, I am a _little_ pissed off that you ignored me when I asked you not to look." he gave her a look "So next time you ask me before you do that, okay?"  
She nodded at him.  
"However that small pint aside," the mercenary rested his head in a hand and regarded her fondly "I suppose now that it's happened, I'm okay with it. No, really I am." He assured her as he saw the look of confusion in her eyes. He took out a long pale cigarette and lit the end, taking a long draw from it before he blew out the smoke in a long trail, closing his eye in a moment of nicotine induced pleasure.  
"I mean, if you think about it. It's not like you wouldn't have found out eventually."

Seras was relieved but also confused at his statement. "I'm glad you fell that way about it Pip." she said gratefully "But what do you mean by, I'd have found out about it eventually?"  
Pip opened his eye and shrugged "Well, we would have talked about it. Believe me mignonette, when you're in any kind of relationship you eventually talk about your past. Besides, you're a _girl_." he said it as though it were self explanatory.  
She flushed, and what the hell did he mean by that? "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" she demanded.

Pip laughed "Oh come on, mon cheri! We both know what you ladies are like!"  
She gave him a look that suggested he was trying to be funny and she wasn't amused.  
He elaborated with a theatrical sigh "You ladies are always saying things like 'how long has it been since your last girlfriend?' or 'Is it your first time doing this?', 'Did your last girlfriend do this kind of thing?' and 'Was that good for you too?' You can't leave that sort of thing alone."  
Seras glowered at him and growled "Is everything an innuendo to you Pip?"  
Pip grinned smugly at her "Of course! But with you around, tormenting me with those gorgeous curves, can you blame me?"  
"Pip." she warned "Don't push your luck."  
"I have hardly begun!" Pip protested  
"Good, then you can stop before you get started!"  
"Mignonette, considering our history are you seriously telling me that there is nothing between us?"

She gave him a baffled look "Well... look, you're a good man Pip... well, sometimes you are." she amended "Yes, I like you. But I'm not ready for anything _near_ what you're proposing."  
"You call that proposal? Non, _this _is proposal!" Seras noted with a sinking feeling that Pip's eyes looked a little unfocused._Oh great, and now he's drunk..._ she thought with weary resignation.  
"Seras, light of my life, woman of my deepest desires, make me a happy man! Join me in the adventure of married life!"  
Seras sighed "Pip, I think we're already as good as we're going to get..."  
"Yet, I don't hear a 'no'? Ah! But of course, you're having trouble with words; your heart says 'Oh, yes Pip!' but your mind says 'non, it is too early!' but I know you will one day accept! Oh mignonette, you've made me so happy!" the mercenary practically glowed with satisfaction and rose unsteadily to his feet.  
"Pip I didn't say any-"  
"Of course, I will have to get the boys back for a stag night, what a lark that will be!" Pip exclaimed as he went over to the counter in search of more booze "and we'll have to find something for you to wear mignonette but Integra's loaded so I'm sure price won't be an issue..."  
"Pip, I think you've probably had a bit too much to drink-"  
"And think of the honeymoon! Oh Mignonette what a glorious event that will be!"  
Seras sighed and rolled her eyes. This would be a long night.

* * *

She left the mercenary in the mess snoring loudly. Her head buzzed and she muttered curses about being too soft hearted sometimes.  
_four hours_ she thought _Four bloody long hours elaborating on a romantic engagement between us and he barely shut up all the way though it_.  
If course, it had not all be drunken talk. She knew for a fact that Pip would genuinely commit himself to her like that, and that was sweet. Sort of. It was hard to think of the drunken mercenary in any light right now, she could hardly think straight as it was with her body screaming blue murder at her that she needed to feed and that was pushing all the wrong buttons in her at the moment. She was tired and day was appproaching...  
She groaned, it would be worse in the morning. She felt grumpy and unbelievably worn out from Pips non stop chattering.  
She pushed open the door to her cell and staggered over to the wall, pressing the button. he coffin rose slowly and when the latches finally wirred and clicked into place she collapsed into the coffin/bed and sighed in relief as exhaustion caught up with her.

"Wakey, wakey rise and shine!"  
She shrieked as she felt a hand run up her leg, she jerked upright and her head slammed into the lid of the coffin.  
"Ow!" she cried out and fell back into her pillow. She thumbed the button and the coffin rose to its four poster status. Pip lay next to her grinning immensely.  
"Can't you bloody leave me alone for one night!"  
"Actually no, you work at night. You mean, can't I let you sleep for a day?"  
She was infuriated, her head hurt and her body cried out for the relief of sleep and blood. Seras temper snapped.  
Her hand lashed out and she heaved the Frenchman over her and threw him off the bed "GET OUT!" she snarled angrily.

Pip cried out as he hit the floor and rolled. As he looked up at her his eyes went wide and he swallowed hard.  
"S..Seras?" he asked her, his voice quavering just slightly "Y-your eyes are glowing red..."  
The room seemed to darken around the two of them, Seras leaned forward over the bed and loomed over Pip, her eyes glowed a blood red and her left arm began to change. He stared in horror at the flickering smoky darkness that spread out from where her left arm should have been.  
Something inside him warned him that now would be a good time to get away from her...  
"I said _out_!" Seras growled meaningly in a voice that didn't sound slightly human.  
Pip went pale and he retreated out of the room as fast as he could scramble. Outside he sat against the cold stone wall and gasped for air, trying to calm his panicked breathing down.  
"What the fuck was all that...?" he whispered quietly to no one "Those eyes, that voice, that _thing_ from her arm_!_" he didn't dare voice his private thoughts that reminded him that he'd only seen something else that creepy once before and its name was Alucard.

* * *

**Hurrah, I trust this has entertained you to read. Please R+R.**


	6. Chapter 6

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**I do not own Hellsing.**

* * *

Their first mission after she'd scared him out of her chambers had seemed like any other.  
It had relieved him more than he could say that Seras didn't seem to be holding a grudge.  
"Hey Mignonette!" he called after her as she finished up on the the last ghouls. They were alone in the hotel and Pip had finally caught up with her after he'd cleaned out the lower floors in their usual drill.  
She turned to look at him without much expression "Yes, Captain?"  
He scowled "You keep calling me that. What's the deal?"  
She raised an eyebrow "You wouldn't be able to figure it out if it sat on your head." she said coolly.  
"Oh come on, you're not still mad at me are you? I'm not that annoying!"  
"Yes you are" she grinned.  
The grin had aroused him in many different ways, it wasn't just that it was a rather appealing grin, it was like that and some a little bit more. There was a general somethingness about it that made it seem better than the best. He _liked_ it.  
"So" he said in his most seductive tone "Why don't you tell me more about what you think about me?"  
Seras tilted her head, rested a finger on her cheek and tapped it thoughtfully for a few moments. Pip waited hopefully, unable to keep an eager grin off his face. Eventually Seras had said "Hmm. Unfortunately, there's not much to say Pip."  
At the look of disbelief on his face she'd laughed.  
okay, that had been a little harsh... he laughed too as though it was nothing.  
"Well, tell me a little about myself then." he joked.  
She sighed "Not now Pip."  
She turned and the Frenchman grinned and reached forward and slapped her bum playfully.

Seras let out a squeal of indignation and turned on him. She wasn't impressed. How dare he just...!  
"Nothing, eh?" her familiar joked as he backed out of arms reach then a little more "Come on Seras, I know you like it when I do that! Why else would you tempt me so?"  
She was still for a moment, fighting the urge to punch his lights out. She wasn't doing any tempting! Then an idea came to her.  
She smiled her sweetest and shook her head with a light chuckle.  
"Alright Captain, you win." she admitted, shrugging her shoulders and walking a bit closer to him, trying her best to make it as sensual as she could.  
Pip's eye followed her every movement with hunger. When she stopped it seemed to dawn on him what she'd just said.  
He hesitantly asked "I do?"  
"Mm hmm." Seras nodded, she leaned forward confidentially and whispered in a low tone "Since we're alone, and there's no one to report otherwise, why don't we say the mission is took a little longer than we thought?"  
Pip quickly worked out the hidden message "Alright!" he smirked "Well, let's waste no time mignonette!" he reached out for her.  
She giggled and ducked away from his clutches. "Okay, but if you want me, you'll have to come and get me." her eyes flashed red and she sprinted down the corridor, her inhuman reflexes making her incredibly fast.  
Pip set off after her the moment she turned, like a bloodhound after a scent.  
he called out after her "Run Seras, Run!"  
She turned around and before Pip could stop himself he charged into her knee.  
"Oh!" he gasped as pain exploded in a sensitive area. "Oh, Jesus..vous ... vous tortueux peu...!" he fell to the floor and cradled himself.  
Seras leaned down and picked the unresisting Captain up. "You're right, I am a little devious aren't I?" she replied with a satisfied grin.  
Pip looked up weakly "You're cute when you're angry Seras..." he grinned.  
Exasperated she dropped him and walked away "And you're just plain impossible Pip Bernadotte." she replied wearily.

Later in the evening whilst Seras was just settling to sleep asleep Pip had snuck out of her. He'd left her chambers to have a stroll around the grounds. He enjoyed his freedom, the ability to come and go. He sat down and puffed on the remains of he wondered why familiars hadn't just left Alucard as they'd pleased...?  
Perhaps they couldn't. He'd definitely seemed more possesive than Seras after all.  
Pip was just about to retire back into Seras chambers, as he turned he nearly bumped into the girl herself who'd appeared silently behind him.  
"Seras!" he grinned "How sweet, you want me to warm the bed up whilst you go freshen up?"  
There was an odd look to her eyes, they were a little unfocused.  
He frowned and looked deeply into them "Seras? Hello?" he asked, feeling a little foolish.  
She ignored him and her gaze went wistful and sad. She slowly started walking forward.

Pip had once served with someone who'd suffered nightmares and had sleepwalked... he'd remembered how no one in the squad had been able to snap the fellow out of it without hurting the guy. In the end they'd given him his final pay check and dismissed him as an unsuitable candidate in the end. Shame, he'd been a nice guy...  
Pip snapped himself out of the memory, Seras had disappeared into the gloom.  
"Seras! Wait!" he called and hurried after her. Sleepwalking or just acting weird, if she had an accident or something he'd feel terrible for not being there to help her.  
But if she was sleepwalking he wouldn't hurt her unless it became necessary.  
"Seras?" he hissed as he went up the stairs in pursuit of the vampire, as he opened the doorway into the corridor he looked both ways. Seras was nowhere to be seen. The mansion was too damn big! How could a girl who'd been out of his sight for a few seconds go missing?

He sighed, and tried to think. If he were a vampire and he had to sleepwalk then where would he go? He sighed, maybe she'd gone to the library to read something like some people did when they couldn't sleep? He ran that way and a few minutes later he burst into the Hellsings spacious library. It was dark and as he flicked the lights and had a quick look around he sighed. It was empty.  
Perhaps she was outside? He hoped not, because they were even more spacious than the building! It would take ages to search for her out there.  
He closed his eyes and tried to focus on Seras which was admittedly pretty easy for him, but he had to resist mentally undressing her as he did it.  
A second later he vaguely heard a clatter in his head far away through their bond. Metallic noises like someone moving appliances or something.  
There were two places with metal in this place, the armoury and the kitchen. He sighed in relief, the girl had gone for a snack.  
He chuckled, he'd quite like that himself... maybe she'd even let him join her and they could have a little midnight meal together...  
It dawned on Pip that Seras couldn't eat normal food like most people and she hated the stuff she had to eat for sustenance. He closed his eyes and willed himself to return to Seras feeling that something was out of place.

He appeared in the Hellsing kitchen. It was large by any standards, originally had been designed with catering in mind for large parties, official visitors and the occasional festive evenings. Later, and with modern appliances, this had been gradually changed to suit the needs of soldiers and the Hellsing family. These days the large kitchen was ridiculously overstocked for the occasional visitors and single living occupant of the Hellsing manor.  
Pip saw no harm in helping himself. He opened the large fridge and had a peek inside. It was crammed with the essentials for cooking food from scratch. Vegetables, milk, cheese, cooked and uncooked meats, yogurt, eggs... Pip sighed. Clearly Integra had been fond of home cooked stuff. He'd rather hoped to find something like a slice of left over pizza but even he couldn't picture Sir Integra settling down for a late junk binge in front of a television with something potent and alcoholic.  
He shut the fridge, being dead he didn't need to eat or drink. He was pretty sure he could, but so far there hadn't been a need to try it out.  
He heard a low grunt from the back of the kitchen. He followed it and gasped when he found Seras.

His Mignonette had been busy during his search, and she'd found the stash of medical supplies. She lifted a bag of A type and ripped it open, gulping it down noisily and throwing it away. Blood trickled down her chin and stained her top. Pip looked in horror and the floor which was littered with far too many empty plastic bags. Seras was going through the whole damn stock in her sleep! At this rate there would be none left!  
He dashed out and grabbed her hand as she reached unconsiously for another bag.  
"Seras, no!" he barked "Stop it! That's an order!"  
The girl grunted and fought his grasp. Pip grunted with effort as his arm was slowly raised upwards. She was stronger than him and he couldn't stop her.  
He grabbed the bag and tried to heave it out of her hand. Her fingers tightened, a second later the bag tore and blood gushed out over both their hands.  
"Eww!" he groaned "That's disgusting!"  
Seras didn't seem to mind, with an odd smile she started lapping it off her fingers.  
Pip grimaced, perhaps it was a good thing he hadn't found a snack. He wasn't sure he could have held it down.  
Suddenly her eyes focused on his hand.

"Oh no. No way!" he held his hand away from her "Seras, you've had enough."  
The girl growled with a wide smile that revealed sharp teeth. She pounced on him making him cry out in alarm as they fell to the floor.  
He struggled but she hopped on top of his chest and sat down, pinning his unbloodied arm beneath her leg. A second later she had his other arm in her hands. He watched an all too long tongue snake out and lap eagerly at his wrist. She was panting heavily and eagerly pressed her lips to his arm and sucked the red mess off it.  
That's disgusting... Pip thought.  
Seras sighed in pleasure and continued the sucking.  
Pip shut his eyes, without the visual it sounded pretty damn hot... he revoked his previous thought. Disgusting... yet arousing.  
Uh-oh, he thought, this had better not be how fetish starts.  
He opened his eyes as Seras lifted his hand to her lips and shifted herself more comfortably on top of him. Her tongue snaked up and caught a few drops off his fingertips before she slid one of his digits into her mouth with a moan and sucked on it.  
Pip groaned in pleasure beneath her and felt himself harden. Under different circumstances this would have been very pornographic for him, but he was a little worried about those teeth being so close to his flesh. He was already missing an eye, he didn't want to add his fingers to that list.  
"S-Seras..." he gasped "If we're going to play games with food, I want to join in. I think saw some cream in that fridge..."  
Suddenly the girl blinked a few times. She made a noise of confusion and looked down slowly and disbelievingly, his finger was still in her mouth.  
Pip suddenly realised she'd snapped out of it.  
Oh shit, he thought.

Seras could not have been more confused.  
She'd turned in with her stomach still complaining about blood... she'd decided she couldn't face it tonight. Now here she was with Pip's finger in her mouth.  
Her stomach roiled. She spat out and moved her mouth away from his hand.  
"What the HELL?" she demanded.  
Pip, caught beneath her, started to stammer something but she ignored him she as she noted where they were. What was she doing in the kitchen, why wasn't she in her chambers?  
... and why did her chest feel wet?  
She looked down and gasped - Blood! Blood all down her front! She ran a hand over her face, it was on her face too?  
"...but it wasn't me!" Pip finished beneath her.  
She took a deep breath.  
"Say that again Pip." she asked keeping her voice level.  
Her familiar gave her a nervous smile.  
"Okay, I'm sure you're pretty angry so hear me out before you kill me! I'm out for a stroll and a smoke, I come back and hey, there you are! You're all zoned out and you're walking in your sleep-"  
"I'm _walking_ in my _sleep_?" Seras echoed disbelievingly.  
"But wait Mignonette! Hear me out! I go after you to make sure you're okay and when I can't find you I make myself come to you and here you are, in the kitchen, gorging yourself with blood, tearing open packet of the stuff."  
Seras closed her eyes and breathed deep. _Calming thoughts Seras, deep blue ocean, nice and calm..._  
"Okay, and what about the finger in my mouth?"  
Pip repeated it silently then he said "Err... well... I got a little blood on it and you were... cleaning it off."  
Seras, entirely freaked out by the situation, decided that was a nice way of putting it.  
"Okay." she said lightly.  
Pip who'd been bracing himself, seemed pretty surprised. "Really?"  
She nodded "I've never sleep walked before, but I do get bad hunger pangs and I did use to get midnight munchies... let's forget it."  
Pip nodded gratefully "Good idea!"  
She got off him, Pip got to his feet. She noticed something.  
"Pip," she asked "Why is one of your jacket sleeves soaked in blood?"  
Pip suddenly swallowed and hid it behind his back, with a nervous chuckle. "Oh, erm... no reason."  
Seras had a mental image of Pip ripping open a bag of blood and coaxing her with some of it.

Pip ran for his life down the corridor "Seras! Mignonette! I told you I didn't do it!"  
"I don't believe you! You're a sick man!" Seras shouted behind him.  
She sounded closer that before, he pumped his legs harder. "But mignonette, would I really take advantage of you like that?"  
"Yes!"  
"I wouldn't! I swear it! I promise! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" he begged.  
Suddenly he saw a left turning, as he ran around the corner he saw Seras come out of the wall and she tackled him noisily to the floor.  
"Oof!" Pip gasped as the air left his lungs.  
Seras lifted a hand to punch him and Pip concentrated and disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.  
"Catch me if you can!" his voice came from the shadows. He was hiding, and she couldn't make him come out. She didn't have that kind of control yet.  
Seras snarled. Sometimes she really hated that man.

* * *

**Please R+R.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Hellsing.**

* * *

It was a rather annoying thing, Seras reflected, not having a master whom she could ask answers if. It would have been a relief to know that sleepwalking was a normal thing for the undead. Despite her hopes she doubted it was normal; vampires slept during daylight hours because the sun was lethal to all but the strongest of their kind, if sleepwalking was common affliction amongst nosfiratu then the workload that Hellsing had to deal with had no right to be so high. Seras shook her head, she was being foolish. She wasn't exactly a stereotypical vampire anyway! She didn't like blood, she couldn't control her familiar, she apparently sleepwalked and ate in her sleep... and she was still a little suspicious of Pip's story about that, sure you could sleepwalk and a lot of people did, but sleep _eating_?

You trusted the messenger that they were telling the truth when they delivered the news, but she was entitled to demand a little more proof when the messenger was literally telling her he was an innocent witness to her gorging herself on blood and he was up to his elbow in the stuff as he told her this.

Speaking of the mercenary, she hadn't seen Pip for about an hour now. She sort of hoped it would stay that way till tomorrow evening, she wished she had an 'off' switch for the man. The clock on the wall told her she only had a few hours before dawn, and there wasn't a great deal to do around the place at this hour that wouldn't possibly wake up Sir Integra. Her human master turned in at a very late hour, and she rose pretty early too. But if that short window of sleep was interrupted... God she was frightful when that happened!

Seras tried to work out how much sleep Sir Integra must normally get over a busy week... seven days a week, twenty four hours in a day and the evenings were longer in the winter... her head started to protest at the arithmatic and Seras gave up quickly. Whatever you toted the average up to it was still a pretty low figure. The Draculina wondered how her master kept her good looks sometimes, it was a miracle she wasn't going grey early!  
After all she smoked and she didn't sleep heathily and she had a high stress job and took no holidays or healthy breaks...

Seras giggled as the thought of Sir Integra being forced to take a holiday popped into her head. What on earth would her Master even do on a holiday? The 'no nonsense' woman who wore men's suits and smoked cigars... She wouldn't sunbathe, Seras just couldn't see her master finding any good reason to wear clothing that showed off more flesh than she considered decent. Integra going to night clubs seemed pretty unlikely - she'd probably complain they were too loud and public for her taste and besides Integra didn't seem to be the drinking type so that was that option out of the window.

Seras frowned and scratched her head for a moment as it dawned on her that she never saw Integra Hellsing with anything alchoholc, she wondered why her master didn't drink? Perhaps it was a personal taste thing, or maybe it was her one consideration for her health. Or maybe it was personal.  
Maybe she'd ask her about it sometime... maybe when she felt brave.

She walked down a hallway and caught sight of herself in a mirror in passing. What she saw made her groan and she reluctantly faced the mirror full on. Her reflection was a blood drenched horror... well to be fair, not completely horrible. She admitted she wasn't exactly unattractive to look at normally, but normally she didn't have blood stains down her face and down her top and the state her hair was currently in after chasing after Pip almost the whole of the manor...? Oh dear.

"Gahh! That's another uniform ruined in less than a week!" she compained to herself as she stormed off to wash off the blood and change her clothes.

* * *

Pip relaxed in the lower corridors of the sublevel. He finished another cigarette and chuckled to himself. It had been a fair while since he'd left Seras to storm about, she must be cooling down by now surely? Well even if she wasn't then it was getting near to dawn, with only a few hours left she'd have to turn in shortly. He knew her well enough to know that she was the type to get angry quickly at little things but she wasn't the unreasonable sort. She'd be fine after a sleep.

Footsteps coming down the stairs made him look up. Faintly she saw the outline of his hearts desire coming down the stairwell and... uh oh, wow did she look grumpy...!  
He recalled how close she'd come to catching him earlier and he decided it was best to make himself scare for just a little while longer. It wasn't that he was scared of a _girl_ it was more that he valued his good looks and didn't want them punched out of proportion by an angry vampire with whom he wasn't exactly on great terms with at the moment.

Pip sighed, thanking fate that the men weren't around to see him running and hiding as he darted through the wall and into Seras' room where he leapt onto her coffin bed. Slapping a hand on the panel it closed... it closed _slowly_...  
"Come on! Come on! Dépêchez-vous!" he urged it to close faster as the footsteps grew nearer. Fortune smiled on him, he heard the click of the locks before he heard the faint sound of the heavy chamber door being opened somewhere above him as Seras came into the room.

* * *

Seras sighed and sat down on the lid of the coffin bed, she rested her head in her hands with a tired grunt.  
She then looked warily at the large mirrior that was across the room and turned it around so it faced the wall before she started to strip her clothes off herself. The stained shirt was thrown on the floor and the skirt and stockings followed shortly after them. Before long Seras Victoria stood alone in nothing but her bra and panties, the vampire relucatantly removed them and revealed her private regions to the world, silently thankful that Pip wasn't around to see her naked.  
She wasn't sure she had the patience for any more of his antics tonight.

She hurried to grab a towel and covered her dignity, now wrapped in an overlarge white fluffy towel she felt more secure and she made her way back out into the corridor and down the hall to the room that had become the bathroom for any of the undead residents that felt like indulging in the luxury of a wash. It was really just for her these days with her Master gone, but even when he'd been around she couldn't recall even once seeing Alucard go to wash.  
Seras turned the tap on the wall and after a long moment the water began to spurt out. She turned the tap towards the red, and after a another short wait she was rewarded with hot water for her patience. Steam rose from the tiled floor, Seras had to tweak the temerature till it was right for her.

Once upon a time the shower room had been a medical facility of some sort, the room still looked a bit sterile with its white tile walls. The showering area had been slightly renovated for occupants, the thin pale screen had been removed and rail had been installed along with a shower curtain which was a pale red colour and a bathroom cabinet which was on the side wall. Seras put the towel on the floor and stepped into the hot water, pulling the curtain across for privacy.  
She let out a hiss as her cold skin was heated up under the spray, but rubbing herself over vigourously she quickly climatised to it and tried to relax.

* * *

Pip peeped his head out of the coffin bed and frowned curiously, what on earth could she be-?  
He saw her discarded clothes on the floor and his face blossomed into a cheeky grin "Oh! Merci Jesus, Merci." he whispered gratefully to the ceiling.  
So Seras was having a wash was she? Well that was a sight he'd always wanted to see! If she was still in a huff with him, and by her face earlier he assumed she was, then at least he would be rewarded with that heavenly sight for his pains!  
He followed the faint sound of water until he found the room. Slipping in he saw the towel on the floor and heard the sound of a woman washing herself. He nodded and put his hat on the side and took off his boots quietly.  
Tip toeing over to the shower he stripped off his clothes, the jacket being neatly folded and the trousers, underpants and socks being discarded on top of it.

He grinned and paused as he heard her curse.  
"Oh, forgot the soap... damn."  
Pip spied the cupboard on the side and he opened it, picking out one of the scented soaps and smirking.  
He pushed a hand through the curtain.  
"'Ere you go mignonette." he prompted.  
"Oh, thank you." she replied gratefully and after a second it registered with her exactly _who_ had given her some soap.  
She then pushed her head past the curtain and glared at him "Captain! What the hell are you doing here!"

Pip pointed at himself and looked as innocent as possible "Moi?" he inquired.  
"Yes you, and-" her eyes went down and she blushed scarlet when she saw more than a good glimpse of the Captain's...  
She shrieked "What the hell? WHY ARE YOU NAKED!" she demanded whipping her eyes back up to his face which grinned proudly at her reaction.  
"Well, I was thinking that I needed a wash too, you see being chased around by you and what with ze blood soaked arm..." he shrugged as though the matter were out of his hands "Can I... snuggle in with you?" he asked in a purr.  
"No! There's ones upstairs! Go use them!" she shut the curtain as though it were a door.

"Oh come on, you're acting like you've never seen a man naked before mignonette!" he teased her.  
"Piss off Captain!" she pleaded, "Look, I'm really not in the mood!"  
Pip gaped... and then it occured to him. She was kind of innocent. Maybe she hadn't see a guy naked! He grinned "Ready or not, 'ere I come!" he teased.  
"Put one foot in here Captain and I'll tear it off! I'm serious!" she wasn't kidding either.

Pip paused and frowned... then an idea dawned on him. Not one foot was he allowed to put in there, but maybe if he was careful.  
"Okay, I promise." He called as he shut his eye and slipped himelf back into the recesses of her mind. Being careful as he did so he saw through her eyes what she was doing.  
All right! It was like a free show! He could see how perky her breasts were, he could see those nice legs of hers and the water dripping down her body was just-  
He sighed happily and suddenly realised he'd made the sound inside her head.  
Suddenly he felt Seras awareness of him, then a blossom of anger and humiliation rose up in her.  
Next thing he knew he was thrown out... literally!  
Pip cried out as his body reacted to her barrier and he hit the floor of the shower room. He was still naked and the cold floor was an extra shock to the pain in his backside as he landed on his butt.

* * *

"PIP YOU PERVERT! YOU BASTARD!" Seras tore down the shower curtain and then flung herself on top of the man and hit him squarely in the face. The Frenchman cried out in pain and then let out a strangled choke as Seras hands wrapped around his neck and she throttled him on the floor.  
"How dare you do that! HOW DARE YOU PIP!" she was seriously brassed off now! How dare he just treat her like some kind of personal pleasure show!  
The man in question raised his hands beneath her and cried out "Seras please I didn't-"  
"Didn't what Captain?" she demanded shaking him like a rag doll "You didn't mean to have a look? You didn't mean to upset me? Then what did you mean to do exactly?"  
In his one eye she saw the reflection of her two eyes glowing red and she felt her teeth getting longer and sharper. God but she wanted to teach this man a damn lesson!

"Seras I... I was only messing around! I'm sorry please!" he pleaded as tried to get her off of him.  
The girl was having none of it. Her hand grabbed his hair and she dragged his head up to face hers.  
"You think you can do as you please to me?" she roared "I am not a TOY Pip Bernadotte and you do not have any right to treat me as one!"  
Pip cried out in pain as her hand tightened on his thick ropey ponytail.

"What's wrong Pip? No smart remark? No witty comback? Maybe I should treat you like a toy, huh Pip? Maybe I should do what I want to you, see if you like it!"  
"Let go of my hair Seras!" he cried out, trying to pry her hands off his pony tail "Please! It mean's a lot to me! Please let go of it!"  
"You care more about your stupid hair than my feelings?" she raged "Well here! maybe THIS will make you think twice before you try that sort of thing again!" she roared and a second later her hand shot out and sliced Pip's pride and joy neatly from his head.

* * *

Pip stared in disbelief at the remains of his hair in her hand. He let out a strangled gasp and his hands shot to the back of his head. Sure enough, he wasn't dreaming. His hair was at irregular lengths and loose in between his fingers.  
"My... my..." he couldn't speak he was so shocked. Years it had taken him to grow that ponytail, _years! _And this girl in one moment had just...  
Suddenly it occured to him that he had never agreed to help her so that he could take this kind of treatment. Yes, granted, he'd been fooling with her and perhaps he'd gone a bit far but hadn't he said sorry? So did he really deserve this... had acting in the same manner he always did merited her taking away one of the few achievements in his life that had made him stand out in a crowd?  
No. Never. This was the last straw for Pip. He was going to make her pay for this one.  
He closed his eye and let himself fade from the physical state he was in. He heard Seras confused noise at his behavior and he stood up.

* * *

Seras looked at Pip who was now standing over her, she could see through him, like he was made of smoke... he seemed to be getting fainter too.  
"Well well," he scolded her and pointed to the remains of his hair in her grip "You 'appy now? You feel proud of yourself mignonette?"  
The Draculina looked at the ponytail then back at him, specifically at his gaze which looked more hurt and angry than she'd ever seen him.  
Uncertainty filled her and she swallowed, the anger in her was fast turning into a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach as she realised she'd gone too far teaching him a lesson.  
Suddenly the reality hit her like a sack of bricks, here was a man who now owned nothing because he'd sacrificed himsefl for her and she'd just taken away from him one of the few remaining touches of his identity.  
What had she _done_?

"You know Seras, I warned you about that temper. I warned you it would make you into a monster like Alucard." the ghost of the mercenary spoke quietly "I don't feel much like seeing you at the moment. In fact, I don't know when that I'll want to see you, I can't bear to look at a woman who doesn't care about my feelings. But 'ey! That's my lot now right? I have to do what _you_ want, but not what I want! Isn't that what I was letting myself in for when I asked you to drink from me?"  
"Pip NO!" she cried out, feeling tears running down her face as shame flooded her system. How could he think she felt that way about him? She did care! She really did care about him, she'd just lost her temper!  
"Pip please wait! I didn't mean it like that! I honestly didn't know that it would-!" she shut up as the Captain rose an etheral hand to silence her.

Pip didn't look impressed with her words "Didn't know 'ow I'd take it huh?" he echoed her "That's funny Seras. 'Cause I recall telling _you_ that, BEFORE you cut off my hair! Let's see 'ow you like it Mignonette, lets see if you can be like me and not have what you want. Let's see how _you_ feel when it's you who has to do it!"  
"Captain no! Hold on!" She tried to grab him, she knew she should be able to control him and make him stay here, or go back to being a physical presence like she wanted, but she couldn't think how she could do that to him and he was dead set on whatever he had in mind.

"Non." the man shook his head "Non, I refuse..." he closed his eye and she saw his lips press into a thin line on his face as he tried to contain himself and he spoke quietly to himself, "Why is it that every time I fall for a girl, they either use me, or abuse me?" she saw a tear run down his face as he faded into smoke.  
"Pip please don't do this!" She begged him.  
She then felt him fully return to her, but unlike all the other times he was making no effort to remain free this time.  
God, she'd really done it this time... Pip was giving up. He was letting himself become something to be used, and wasn't that what she'd wanted, a little more control over her familiar like a proper vampire should have?

For the next few minutes all that could be heard in the shower room was Seras sobbing and the sound of running water from the still active shower.

* * *

**Please R+R.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi all, just a little reassurance that this fic has not been abandoned – I enjoy it too much to do that. However I got writers block after the last chapter and then there were others that I've been working on and you can work out what happened afterwards.  
Any road, that's why this one's been neglected for such a long time now. But I'm back and hopefully It'll be updated regularly now.**

I do not own Hellsing. I do however own a PC on which I can write fan fics about all my favourite characters. Yay me.

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****  
In the darkness and the damp cold shower room Seras tried her hardest to bring Pip back from wherever it was that he had chosen to go within her. But no matter how she tried or how hard she searched she could not find him, he had hidden himself too well for her and without anyone to consult she didn't actually know what to do to bring him back on her own.  
She saw his memories clearly enough though, small comfort to know that he was actually still inside her. She'd tried using those memories to find the man himself but it had backfired on her everytime she did so, she'd chase the memories through her mind until she could smell the cigarettes which lingered around his soul like smoke would from a fire but whenever she thought she'd found him or felt that if she pressed a bit further then *poof* he'd throw up another memory to distract her and if she ignored it then he'd put up more and whichever she followed he'd pick another one and by the time she could no longer smell him he'd have moved somewhere else within her head.

"Pip please!" she cried out as for the umpteenth time in the last hour he fooled her and once again disappeared, her voice was hoarse from the crying and her throat was sore. Her head buzzed and she realised she was trembling from the cold. Despite having no more tears to cry, in fact she was certain she'd cried herself out in the last hour, she whimpered pitifully and dropped her head to her knees and rocked herself as her shoulders heaved as she tried to cry some more to vent the sorrow and self pity she felt at her actions.  
She'd never before felt so ashamed of herself or something she'd done.  
His long braid was still in her hands, she hadn't let go of it since Pip had gone an hours ago, she realised she was toying with it and clutching it too tightly she sniffed and cuffed the wetness from her cheeks with her free hand. She took a few deep breaths as she looked at it, calm down Seras, she advised herself. You can't help yourself if you're an emotional wreck and Pip certainly knows you feel terrible at this point. It's time to pull yourself together girl.  
She placed the braid down reverently and towelled herself dry, it didn't take long because she'd mostly drip dried over the last hour and all that was left on her skin were a few stray drops and her hair was still damp but the towel helped to give herself the impression of warmth from the motion of drying her skin and hair. She picked up the braid and went back to her room.

When she got back she got into some pijama's and turned the mirror round to fix her hair back to its regular held up style, however she wondered if maybe he'd like to see her with her hair down so she decided to do this instead in hopes that maybe Pip would come for a little look and she might be able to talk to him.  
But in this she was let down for her only familiar didn't come. He didn't even comment in her head to say if he liked it or not. Seras' gut clenched up, she _hated_ the silence more than anything because it felt like Pip had died all over again. His laughter and his teasing had filled up so much silence since her Master and Walter had gone that now that she could actually hear when things were quiet it only made her nervous.  
Fighting back the wave of disappointment and upset she was feeling she climbed into her bed and cuddled the braid to her like a child with a comfort towel. She pulled some blankets over herself and settled down as she stroked the plait she held.  
She had to break this god awful silence. Ever second without Pip felt like an age.

"You know," she whispered softly to his braid the darkness "I always admired people who could grow their hair out, I never managed to do it this long myself." She gave a watery smile and cleared her throat, she was talking to the braid because (though it might have sounded foolish) she hoped that maybe Pip might be able to hear her because it was a part of him that she still could still interact with.  
"I never could get my hair to stay in a plait either, its too thick or something so it always came undone after a while and looked silly on me. But I always liked braids cause they seem dead practical if you've got long hair. And not many guys can pull off having a braid without looking odd or girly, but you can Pip. I saw anyone how pulled off this look as well as you. I've see other people with braids and plaits before but I never saw one this thick, cause all those other people's braids were really thin as they got to the ends of theirs and they had that kind of rat tail look to them but yours is like a rope all the way through, its really impressive Pip. I always admired this when I looked at you."  
She cuddled it to her cheek and whispered "I'm so sorry I cut this off you Captain." She felt another tear trickle down her cheek and she let it and the others fall.

"I'm so sorry I called you those nasty names too" she whimpered "Cause you aren't a bastard Pip, I get annoyed with your joking around but I shouldn't get angry with you for it - and I shouldn't have even wanted to call you a bastard cause I know you're really sensitive about how people judged you because of your parents all your life." She hugged the thick hair closer to her and stroked it with her fingertips.  
"And that thing about you being a perv…" she let out a weak chuckle "Well, actually you are a pervert Pip, but I guess if there's such a thing as a _decent_ pervert then you're one of those. You always apologise when you go too far, and you've never actually done anything that makes me think I can't ever trust you around me again."

The bed suddenly buzzed and began to lower making her jump in surprise. But then she glanced at the clock and saw the reason. Daybreak had come and the auto had triggered to let her know it was time for bed.  
She sighed and closed her eyes as the lid closed down and the locks snapped into place, she felt heavy from the fatigue and the sadness. Sleep invaded her senses and she stroked the long lock of red coppery hair "I wish you were here with me now to tease me and say something about the two of us being alone together. You know what I want more than anything Pip? I want you back here so I can actually agree with you about that. Maybe it would even go somewhere you wanted it to, because right now I just want you to know how much I care about you and how miserable I am without you being here with me."  
As she closed her eyes she whispered "I want to be able to tell you how you're right about everything about us. I want to be able to whisper in your ear that we do have a spark and right now without you everything feels so cold and pointless. I want you here so I can feel warm and safe and certain about myself again."  
She closed her eyes and let out a long shaky sigh. Just before sleep took her she thought  
_ I don't know how else to say it Pip so here goes; please forgive me, I don't want to be a monster any more. I want to be a woman again. I want to be the woman you love… and I want to show you how much I love you for everything you've ever done and always still do for me.  
_  
Darkness surrounded her for the day as she slept. She opened her eyes and checked the clock. Five o clock… maybe too early for total darkness as it wasn't winter yet, but she couldn't sleep anymore so she decided to get up.  
She hit the button and the bed rose. She sat up and looked around hopefully for any trace of the man. She was let down as she saw nothing of him.  
She rose and changed, she did her hair up in the style she always did and went over and pressed the lock button on her coffin/bed. As it sank down with a whirr she went over to the door and opened it. Stepping out into the corridor she thought she sighed and started down the sub level corridor.  
_That was a very sweet thing you said last night mignonette._  
She stopped dead and held her breath. "Pip…?" she breathed softly.  
_Come back to the bedroom dearest…_ she heard him purr seductively into her head as though she were still in her bedroom.  
She turned and ran back to her room. Throwing open the door she found Pip Bernadotte sitting on the lowered coffin, a cigarette in his mouth and his hat lowered down over his eyes like a movie star cowboy.

The French mercenary flicked it up and blew out smoke slowly.  
"Is it too late to say; wakey wakey, rise and shine?" he asked her with a smirk,  
"Oh Pip!" Seras cried out joyfully and as the man rose and opened his arms she ran over and hugged him close.  
"I'm so sorry I said all that nasty stuff yesterday! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings and-"  
"Hey-?" Pip looked down at her and flicked his head. Seras watched in amazement as from over his shoulder his long braid swung around and settled over his chest "It came back. Turns out that no matter what happens to me I can always make myself look the way I used to. Shame it doesn't work with my eye…" he admitted and referred to the patch he wore.  
Seras stared at him "Pip… that's wonderful." She admitted.  
"So then, no hard feelings?" he offered.  
Seras didn't say anything but pulled him down and kissed him on the mouth.  
Pip's one eye opened wide in surprise and she felt him smirk as he kissed her back.  
When they pulled away from each other he chuckled "I take it that's a yes and you meant it about making it up to me!"  
Seras smiled and looked up at him "Oh no, that wasn't making it up. I had something else I mind for that…"  
"Oh really?" Pip inquired with false innocent. He couldn't keep his eyes off the coffin/bed "And what might that be?"  
"Oh you'll find out." She promised.

* * *

**Viola! Another chap – obviously as this is an 'M' there must be more than the promise of 'entertainment' but it will have to wait until after my busy shift ends!  
R&R people, because I'm back I business! Lol.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi all, Happy new year! It occured to me whilst going through all my much neglected Hellsing fics that this is one of the ones I really need to update more often as it looks like its pretty popular judging by the views and visitors its seen over its time here on the site.  
So without further comment I hope you'll all enjoy the latest installment!**

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Whilst Seras went to get her daily 'nutrition' Pip excused himself from her for a while to go for a smoke and give her a little privacy. He noted that his mignonette seemed happier than he'd ever seen her since he'd passed away, or even before then!  
He really meant a lot to her if he was the reason for this happiness within her. He was touched and actually humbled for the first time in his life; he'd been wrong about claiming that all the women in his life were shameless sluts who'd used, abused and hurt him.  
No. Not this one. Never this girl… and she _was_ his girl he realised. In spirit and soul they were sharing her body, and with her calling the shots he'd help her along the way wherever he could.  
Hold on, they were sounding like an old married couple! When had this happened?

He smiled and realised death had matured him somewhat, straightened his priorities – his thoughts reminded himself of his Grandfather who had raised him from a boy, a much older and wiser man than he'd ever been as he'd known when to quit.  
He pulled out a cigarette from his jacket and lit it up as he reflected to himself.

It was funny how life turned out sometimes, he'd been relatively happy his whole life and he thought he'd owed much of that happiness to the simplicity of never having any serious commitments to answer to except for his line of work and to the men who he had to keep safe under his command - a simple life as a simple mercenary who worked for money which he spent on celebrating his survival in his line of work, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yet now he found himself perfectly content to have a contract which bound him to remain alive in death and to spend that existence in a way that seemed perfectly familiar and acceptable to him by aiding and assisting a sweet and beautiful girl that he'd come to love for her qualities.  
As perfect as it had turned out to be, he'd never thought he'd end up dying fighting against bloodthirsty Nazi vampires – that wasn't a thought that had crossed his mind on even the most drunken, craziest nights out with the boys… but hey!  
Life was funny that way.

He'd heard it said that people who came back from death were often fundamentally changed, more grateful to be alive or made more religious or something of the sort.  
He recalled when he was much younger he'd gone out for drinks with a fellow mercenary who would later become his lieutenant, though they hadn't known it at the time. They'd hit off well and during the evening the other man had paused in the festivities and had some water brought over to their table to 'clear his head' which had puzzled Pip because he'd just brought over a fresh pint for the guy and it was late enough in the evening now that he knew the guy could handle his liquor as well as he could.  
When Pip asked if he was still going to drink his pint his future lieutenant replied that yes he was, so the Frenchman had asked his friend why he was having water now rather than later if he still intended to drink more tonight – seemed the wrong way to go about it to him.

The other had answered him strangely by saying life for him was all about enjoying the little things like tonight and he liked the thought of being able to think of these things rather than the pain when death came. So even if he only remembered a little bit of what happened by creating a break in the nights festivities that would stay in his head he wanted to be able to remember at least one part of tonight in case tomorrow was his last day, and that way he'd have at least one good memory fresh in his head to take with him when death visited.  
Pip thought it was a morbid reason to sober up and he'd laughed and told him to lighten up and have another drink, thinking his friend must either be already drunk or not drunk enough. But the words had stayed with him and it was in retrospect a very true statement.

After all, he himself was dead now but looking back and being able to remember all he'd done in life he could safely say he had no regrets except possibly that he had died a little sooner than he'd thought he would, but considering the state of limbo he was in – being trapped within the object of desire and able to spend the remainder of his life with a woman who would never age and was everything he appreciated in a girl and more… hey, that almost sounded like heaven to him, and he supposed he could live with that as a reward.

He smirked at his thoughts as realised in his head what he was saying, oh dear Cap – you're in it deep aren't you? You've got a woman's love…  
Well, it was something he'd never really possessed before except in a physical way, but he had it now and now he felt like… well he felt _better_for it. He felt more like a whole person and that his death had been for more than just a few cents to some stranger.

Dwelling on the Draculina made him think hard about the two of them; he and Seras were getting into a genuine romantic relationship now and that was good because he'd wanted that since the night he'd died for her.  
But still, it had to be scary for a girl as young and inexperienced as her in the world.  
He smiled and finished off his cigarette. He'd given her long enough to eat and now it was time to see if he could put his heart's desire at ease about the speed their relationship could go if she was feeling scared about rushing into things just because he'd given her a fright by leaving her.  
After all, he didn't intend to leave her ever again now he knew what he had. She meant too much to him for him to hurt her like that again.

Seras was fretting to herself, she'd eaten her fill and she felt better for the nourishment (despite the cuisine which she still could not stomach despite her best efforts!) but she still felt uneasy.  
She was happy for Pip's return to her after his absence – overjoyed really! But therein lay part of her problem, she'd been so thrilled to see him she'd made a promise that now scared the crap out of her as much as the promise had excited her at the time.  
She'd offered Pip a much deserved reward for… well for being himself really and though she'd meant it and though she wanted to do it with him, it was still no small thing to lose your virginity!  
She blushed to herself, if her Master were here he'd no doubt have teased her for her girlish behaviour and her fear over such things – but what would he know about it, she suddenly thought to herself a little irritably, Alucard wasn't a girl and nor could he ever understand how scary the idea was from her perspective!  
Unseen hands began to rub her tense shoulders and she felt herself relaxing despite herself…  
She knew it would hurt, and it would be really scary and painful and what if she wasn't…. very….  
Oh God, now that massage was _really_ nice, Pip you have such wonderfully skilled hands when it comes to-  
Oh!

She turned, her face going beet red and she stammered something about being sorry for being off in her own world and ignoring him. The man standing behind her grinned charmingly at her and pulled her close to himself in a cuddle.  
"What a cutie you are sometimes mignonette." he chuckled as he held her.  
She blinked in confusion and whispered in his ear "Do you know why I was off in my own world Pip…?"  
The mercenary grinned, she could smell the cigarette smoke on him "But of course my pet – _you_ are nervous, mignonette."  
She blushed and suddenly couldn't face him, was she really so transparent? Was he upset, did he think she was pulling out of her promise? Because she wasn't, but she was scared and-

Pip took a hold of her chin and turned it to face himself "You are scared of me and the thought of sex. " he confirmed with a knowing look that she dearly wanted to tease him for but felt it inappropriate right now, later she'd call him a perv but why spoil this moment right now?  
"Ah…" Pip breathed as he stared at her "Lovely!"

He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, butterflies fluttered in her stomach and a tingle ran through her like a small electric current… wow!  
"Do not be afraid" Pip whispered to her softly, her fears starting to waver now he was here and filling her with confidence "There is never" he stopped himself and deliberately kissed her passionately once again "a need" another kiss that held her sole attention in the moment and blocked out her fears "to rush." He finally finished with a roguish smile and a final deep kiss that left her breathless and a little unsteady on her feet.

"Pip…" she moaned slightly "Don't… I'm ready whenever…" she let out a groan of pleasure because his hands were at the square of her back again, rubbing and working out knots that she didn't know were there. She leaned into his chest, relaxing completely into him as his hands worked magic and undid her very responsive and willing muscles.  
"Pip…" she breathed softly.

He grinned, the ladies never suspected he knew how to massage, yet he'd found it was one of the surest ways to relax a girl if it was done correctly. All the merciless stick he'd gotten from his men had been worth it since between their usual come-on's and his smooth talking French and hidden surprises like knowing how to massage he'd always ensured he got laid when he wanted it.

Let's face it, he'd explained to one of his men who'd once asked him for love advice (the kid had been young and naive, poor guy!) telling a girl to 'relax' in a situation full of sexual tension was the surest way to make her go as stiff as a board, so the trick wasn't to tell them but to remind them how it felt by using your hands!  
It wasn't hard.  
Ah, good times. He knew of a few nice ways to please a woman besides with his manhood and he wanted to show Seras all of them before they got to the good part. There was no reason this shouldn't be as good for her as it was going to be for him after all, was there?

* * *

**And just as Pip feels no need to rush into a hot steamy scene, why should I? ha ha. No seriously there's no doubt going to be a damn good lemony scene soon knowing what I'm like! To tell truth I'm testing the waters myself since I'm just getting back into this fic after being away from it.  
I won't make any promises for a speedy update, but I'll promise it won't take me a year this time and I'd really appreciate any comments about this in the meanwhile; feedback, advice, critisicm, etc...  
Continued thanks for all your support my reviewers, really it means a lot to me and I can't thank all of you enough.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Hellsing**

* * *

As often, but not always, happened when Pip Bernadotte got his way with a girl he had moved to the bedroom as quickly as he could arrange it to be so.  
Unusually though, he was not rushing to get to the sex part. He was trying to make this special for Seras and so he was allowing her to call the shots, something he'd not done in a long time.  
He knew there was an age gap between them both, he'd always looked younger than his actual age, and it had been over a decade since he'd made this much effort with a girl. Now he thought about it, he'd probably been about Seras' age himself when he actually got laid properly for the first time…

Of course, he'd had sex _before_ that which had helped, but 'getting laid' was different to just having sex because according to the rules set down by him and his mates 'whores didn't count.'  
He smiled at that memory; he'd had good mates as a boy, for all he was called a pervert by Seras and his men he could have been much, _much_ worse had he not made such distinctions between sex and love as a boy.

He was focussing on the now, but it was of interest to him that being dead had revealed an awful lot about himself to himself.  
It was helpful in some ways, with age and mortality no longer being an issue he found that recalling even the most obscure or distant memory was a synch for him and he had a lot more interesting stories to tell.  
The minus was the cold hands, and the strange lack of needs like hunger and thirst.  
They were there, but they were… strange, like phantom pains. Oh.  
Ha ha. Nice one Bernadotte. Very clever.

He and Seras were sat on the bed, her lying back with her arms folded behind her head as she listened to his stories, himself sat at the other end with a leg folded over the other and a cigarette and a bottle in each hand.  
She made an exception to his cigarettes tonight, 'just this once!' she'd cautioned him playfully.  
He'd returned this mock warning with a smile that promised her he might just forget she'd said that.  
A few hours passed, amazingly fast for both of them, yet with neither of them feeling fatigue and Pip as occupied in embellishing his past deeds as she was at listening to them, it came as no true surprise for either of them when the bed chimed and descended with them both of them in it.  
It was actually pretty funny.

"Oof! Damn it!" Pip cursed as he was squashed by the lowering lid and pressed at an awkward angle into the foot of the bed.  
"Ah! Ow!" Seras was also caught off guard and ended up with her legs caught under the mercenary and one of Pips boots in her midriff.  
"Ah! Pip… would you mind getting that switch for me? I can't… quite… reach!" she grunted as she fumbled for the release switch in vain.  
"Love to…!" the mercenary grunted as he twisted and squirmed the right way round and climbed up towards it.  
He grabbed her legs and pulled himself up and on top of her, his back crushed up against the roof of the bed as he climbed up towards the top of the bed.

"Hey! Pip, do you mind!" Seras objected as his body crushed hers into the back of the coffin/bed.  
"I'm just using you as a reference mignonette! How am I to find the release if I'm not lying where you are?" he defended himself.  
"Well the bed's not that big it can't accommodate- Hey! Get your hands off my ass!" she cuffed at him for the transgression.  
"I didn't do it on purpose!" he said, only half a lie.  
"Pip! Just get up your hands up here and find the damn catch!"  
"Okay! Okay! Just one moment, I'll help you out." Pip pulled her down and felt material slip under his hands, trying not to think about it he pulled her down to allow his arms more room. He suddenly found he had hit a barrier, or rather _two_ barriers, the Police girls breasts were rather generous and in this tight space they were sharing he now found his face thrust between her rather ample bosom.

"Mmf! Pip!" she cried out indignantly "Stop being a perv!"  
"I'm not!" he reassured her, in a muffled voice.  
His hands groped for the release and seconds later a familiar chime sounded and the bed began to rise.  
"Thank you!" Seras cried out, relieved to have the pressure off her chest.  
"Erm… mignonette? That's wasn't me…" he mumbled awkwardly.

Blinking in the sudden light Seras was surprised to see Sir Integra standing in her room, cigar in hand and her usual dry expression as the bed rose into view.  
As the pair came into sight the directors jaw slightly dropped and the cigar fell from her fingers as she beheld the sight of her agent.  
Knickers halfway down her legs, and a flustered Pip straddling her with his face pressed into her chest the Hellsing leader managed a half strangled apology before she quickly retreated out of the room.  
Noting the dropped cigar and taking a quick inspection of themselves the pair were quick to get after her.  
"Sir Integra! Wait a moment-!" Seras called after her.  
"Director, it's not how it looks! Seras and I-!" Pip started to explain before faltering.  
The pair looked at each other and wondered at the same time why either of them was apologising.

"Well, she _did _intrude right?" Pip suggested.  
"Right! Yeah! And… and it's not like we _weren't_… er…" Seras blushed.  
"Going to get round to it eventually?" the mercenary offered, with a suggestive grin.  
"Ah-! Right!" Seras agreed with a shaky laugh.  
Pip chuckled too, this was good. This was _very_ good!  
"So… fancy getting started seeing as we're this far?" he asked as innocently as he could under the circumstances.  
"Well…" Seras squirmed indecisively for a moment, but quickly made her mind up.  
"Yes."

A moment later she was all over him, lips locked on his and kissing passionately and furiously with the ginger haired male. Her enthusiasm more than made up for her lack of experience and it tasted all the sweeter to the Frenchman to know that he was going to be her first…  
"Oh-!" he groaned "OH-! Now _that _is what I call a kiss!" he complimented her between the lip locking moments of blissful ecstasy.  
"Pip, you don't need to- mmf! – be nice for me!" she assured him.  
"Whose being nice? I'm telling the truth here!" he protested.  
"Oh… then that's-"  
"very-"  
"sweet."

-

Integra blew out a long breath to calm her flustered self down. Wow. That was awkward!  
The Director had been going in for a social call, but neither was it an emergency. The house needed renovating and the foundations needed a check-up as part of the process so she needed to move the Vampire from there before the builders came in to check around the place, but she hadn't counted on walking in to a private moment between the pair.  
Personally she was surprised something between them hadn't happened sooner and of course, very good luck to the pair of them but _bloody hell_ where was the decorum!?  
She might have hung his hat on the door or left it on top of the coffin or something as a warning for her! What if she'd come in a few minutes later?  
She shook her head, she was going to have to have a word with that girl about… setting boundaries.

She was so busy in her thoughts she almost discounted the presence of a familiar figure looming behind her from the corner of her eye.  
"Alucard, go tell the Police girl to-" she started to command the figure in red when her brain caught up with her and reminded her that the man she was about to command was supposed to be dead.  
In more ways than one!  
She snapped her head around and saw him there, fully clothed with his head tilted and that oh so  
_insolent_ smirk on his face and something in her couldn't accept it.  
"Alucard…" she whispered hoarsely.  
He bowed his head in slightly mocking way and opened his mouth to say something before his expression twisted into an annoyed frown and he faded.  
The Director swayed drunkenly and barely caught herself on the wall as she stared for a long moment at the space he'd inhabited up till a few seconds ago.

As Pip was undoing the buttons of Seras jacket a rather unusual and mood breaking occurrence happened.  
Seras head jerked as though she'd heard someone call her name and her face lit up with joy.  
"Master!" she cried out, and without a moment's hesitation she pushed Pip off her and leaped off the bed, rushing out the room as she redressed herself and rushed to meet him.  
"Master!" she called eagerly as she hurried to the source that all her instincts were telling her that her Master would be.

"Master, I –huh?" she rounded the corner and saw not the familiar sight of her rather imposing and oddly charismatic Master but rather her Director looking a little bit rattled and leaning heavily on the wall as she stared at the same spot Seras had been expecting to see Alucard.  
"Sir Integra! Did you just see-?"  
The Director nodded sharply "Alucard…! Alucard was just here…" she sounded a little shaken.  
"What happened! Are you alright?" Seras asked, a little worried.  
"I – I'm fine. Just a little surprised, that's all. I thought I was losing my head for a moment there…"  
"No fear of that, eh?" Seras reassured her comfortingly.  
"Right. Right Seras…" Integra agreed "So you felt him too?"  
The Draculina nodded.  
"Is he still there?" she asked the vampire, nodding to the spot where Alucard had appeared to her.

The girl walked over and looked around, she ran her hand over the spot where he'd been standing and then stood in the same place as she searched for him.  
She looked at her boss and sadly shook her head "Sorry Sir. He _was _here, there's an impression left by him, but wherever he is now, it's not here."  
The Director couldn't hide her disappointment, but she kept her composure at the news.  
"Shame. I'd have liked to have a word with him…" was all she said.  
"Ah Sir?" Seras interrupted, catching her attention "Erm… I know it sounds funny, but that presence thing I just said I felt when Master was here? It's back again."  
"Really? Where!" Integra demanded.  
"Um… everywhere?" the girl offered with a helpless shrug and a nervous smile.  
"What?"  
"I said I can feel Master _everywhere_. It's like he's everywhere in this building."  
"So he could appear again?" Integra speculated out loud.  
"Well if he does Sir, then he could pop out anywhere at any time. We'll just have to keep an eye out for him." Seras replied brightly.  
"Wonderful" Integra rolled her eyes "Now that _two_ things I have to watch out for during my rounds down here."  
"Yeah… me and Pip will shut the door next time anything like that happens." The Draculina offered with an awkward shuffle.

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**And another update! This fic will not become Alu-centric I assure you, it is still very much a Pip/Seras story. Feedback on your thoughts on this would be appreciated, and as always I like critique if you have any to offer, PM me if there's anything you don't understand and I will either rectify or explain it for you, huge thanks to all those who've reviewed so far, seeing them was a reminder that I needed to crack on with this story instead of beginning several new ones... damn you whimsical fates that torment me with fresh material when I'm still writing current fics!**


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